Congratulations, Bill O'Reilly!
Tue Jun 24, 2008 at 04:35:25 PM PDT
Summary: There's a new ad out giving praise to Bill O'Reilly for his continued ratings success. I'd like to offer my own praise for such a monumental achievement...as only a Kossack could.
Congratulations, Bill O'Reilly! As it says in your new ad, "Cable news shows have come and gone, but only one has been #1 for 90 consecutive months." You're a true success, in ways that even you don't realize. After all, it's not just anyone who could convince such a large audience to ignore his:
Exaggerated comparisons of his political opponents
Exaggerations of the views of his political opponents
Misrepresentation of his words after he's busted for saying them
Misrepresenting of others' words
Homophobia
Fascist tendencies
Fuzzy understanding of WWII
Unconscious racism
On-air sexual harrassment
Inconsistency
Paranoia
Flawed understanding of his religion
Ignoring facts because they interfere with a point he's trying to make
Black and white view of patriotism
Violent language about political opponents
Making claims about himself that are inconsistent with his past
Explosive rage
And so much more...
Congratulations, Mr. O'Reilly, for achieving your success while possessing traits that would probably destroy the careers of others. I know if Keith Olbermann tried to pull half the crap you do, he'd be fired by now. But then, your ad already predicts that he's going the way of the dodo (Dodolbermann?)anyway. And we know you're not the kind of man who sides with people who like to say, "Mission Accomplished."